How I connected with Maa Kali

Before 2022, I used to connect with many higher beings of light but never Mother Kali. To be honest, I was even scared of connecting with her. In 2022, something happened that awakened me to Mother's true essence behind her fierce personification. I was going through a difficult time personally; I knew I had a lot of womb blockages that were manifesting in my relationships and abundance.

I feared accepting my feminine energy and over-burdened my masculine energy. Amidst all this, I suddenly had an urge to connect with her but still carrying a sense of hesitation. I tried closing my eyes and played a chant of hers. I was too scared of what I might experience. I felt too shallow and impure for her love.In that moment, I suddenly felt a vision of soft and powerful feet, ornamented and painted in red, approaching towards me. She was beyond where my eyes can reach; I struggled to see her face but I did feel her smile. To my surprise, her demeanour did not scare me but felt familiar. She sat in front of me and before I could process anything, I was transported to a different consciousness. She just smiled and I put my head on her lap, tears started rolling down on my cheeks. It was an uncontrollable bawling, my lips continued whispering, "Maa, Maa, Maa...".I did not have any thoughts as if my mind didn't exist and I had become thoughtless; there were only emotions that weren't backed by any reasons. In that moment, I felt as if she is saying with her presence, "For so long, you have kept yourself away from me, thinking you are impure, when all this time, you have been my beloved child and I am your mother." No words were exchanged but everything was understood, more than any human has ever understood me.

For 30 minutes, I kept crying and uttering the word, "Maa, Maa, Maa..". As if this one word gave her the description of ages and lifetimes of my pain and the same word healed me as I kept on repeating, "Maa." Since then, Maa has been with me. From all the healing rituals that I have learned to all the guidance I have shared, it is all hers. I started getting visits from her almost every other day. Sometimes, I would wake up at 3 am and see her standing in front of me; thank God for my loving family who never declared me mad. She told me about the courses I need to teach and the methods I need to share. I started experiencing miracles from her.

One random afternoon, I was meditating on her when my mother came and told me, "Beta, someone slipped a book cover on 'Goddess Durga and her nine forms' through our door." My mother was equally surprised. We still do not know how it came to our house. That was my sign to read about all her forms and also the "Mahavidya." She helped me clear my limitations around sexual energy and helped me heal my womb. I shared those practices with women who have faced menstruation issues and that resolved issues like PCOD and PCOS for them.

But what happened recently is beyond what I would have ever imagined. My father was very sick, doctors were not sure of his diagnosis and we were threatened by assumptions of Cancer. I was given many signs that he has to go through a soul expansion, but as a daughter, I couldn't control my fear and called upon Maa. She guided me to move beyond the illusion of what it could be and stay in the "NOW." I followed her guidance and she showed me a few herbal leaves that she was applying to my father in the vision. I went to Google and searched, and a completely different disease appeared for which these herbs are used. Even though I wanted to believe in what I saw, I waited for the reports to come. Guess what, it was what I found earlier and never Cancer. But the story doesn't end here.

I used to meditate every day when Papa was in the hospital. Every morning, Maa used to show me exactly what is going to happen that day and I was spellbound to see the accuracy of it. Then one afternoon, my mother and I were sitting beside my father in the hospital room, that is when a woman entered. Earlier in the morning, I saw a broom in my vision, sweeping dust off my father's aura. The woman who entered was the sweeper and carried the exact broom I saw in my vision. She asked, "I have been seeing your father here for many days, I am a Christian, would you mind if I pray for him?"My mother and I believe in oneness, we agreed. She started praying with such purity and willingness in her voice, I was shaking. My ego of being a healer broke. I realised, "There is no identity as a healer, a pure heart with utmost surrendering is a messenger of divine in all forms, irrespective of what they do or who they are." When she was done, she said, "Surrender all to divine, I stopped working in this hospital but then God sent me here again, maybe to pray for those who come here." After sharing the words of wisdom, she meticulously swept the floor and left.

I wish I could pour words for her aura and give you a glimpse of what I witnessed. The following morning, I saw Mother Kali applying mustard oil to Papa. We were not carrying any such oil, I wondered, how would this manifest. That afternoon, she came again. This time, she brought mustard oil in a bottle. She said, "I have offered this oil to Mother Mary and Jesus, apply and it will help.

"That afternoon, my father could stand on his feet after so many days. So who is truly divine here? That lady, me, the oil, or Mother Kali? I believe it is all of it, we are all Mother Kali in our own uniqueness.

There are so many stories of Mother Kali that it will take an afternoon and loads of tea to finish them all, but for now, I want to conclude by saying this - I have shared this story to not highlight my ability to channel but Mother's will to connect with her children and if you are reading this, she is calling you too. All you need to do is close your eyes and call upon her, "Maa, Maa, Maa...".

With Love

Shivangi & Divine Mother